Dear 2014

Dearest 2014, 

What a shite year you were. 

Let us count the ways... 

1. My amazing fiancé and I set a date for our wedding. 

2. I planned my wedding. And was incredibly excited for it- which insane if you know me, marriage has never been my vibe. I even made a wedding file. 

3. So began the endless weeks of arguments, over-stepped boundaries and sheer panic. Whilst never of us will agree on who's fault it was, I know where I'd place my money. 

4. Wedding cancelled. 

2014 was a year that challenged me in ways that I still have yet to grasp. It was a year that tried to take my voice away. It was a year that helped me figure out who I wanted in my life, who I had to tolerate in my life and who I didn't want anywhere near my person. 

I'm still trying to cope with the aftermath of 3 horrendous months, don't know if I'll ever move passed it, but alas we must try. 

In the end it was a year in which I grew up. I moved job to a place I've been wanting to get in to, the fiancé and I have out own apartment that we're trying to move into- more challenges of course and finally we get to plan our wedding on our terms. 

Resolution for 2015? The year I stop pandering to the whims of imbeciles. Sorry, that was really dramatic but yet again, true. It will be the year of saying 'No!'.

Eat a bag of dicks 2014.

Violence against women—it's a men's issue: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen

Sometimes there really is no purpose for a debate of any kind. Why?

This man sums it up.

Want to understand how a man can help end violence against women? Listen to this guy!

Rape: It's Your Fault

Braaiday - (Rebecca Black "Friday" Parody)

So much of lols! You should totes take a look!

Good Mourning

We have all been made acutely of the ill health of our beloved former President Nelson Mandela. There have been many opinions regarding the media's coverage of this 'event' and the families involvement, all of which valid etc. and yet the one opinion that irks me beyond belief is that of disregard. 

This lack of feeling and empathy is one that I cannot seem to grasp. Coupled with acute lack of knowledge or appreciation regarding our history generally makes me feel what I term the equivalent of hulking-out. 

Is it me or does there seem to be a sense of ambivalence to our heritage?

Now I may not be the biggest observer of culture etc, having said that I do tend to be immensely patriotic. Like I hear the anthem and get tear-y, I watch Desmond Tutu be amazing and get tear-y, I meet someone who zero knowledge of why we celebrate Youth Day and I get agro. 

How is it that you've grown up in a country that birthed the Freedom Charter, that imprisoned those who fought against racial oppression and finally a nation that has seen the end of mass injustice and moved on to have one of the most democratic and free constitutions in the world, and not be proud of your land of birth. 

It saddens me that these are the same people who no longer feel safe to walk the streets of their own home, who feel that immigration is the only answer when having children and yet believe that women get raped because they dress a certain way and of course this gem, "Sure Nelson Mandela did good stuff but its not like apartheid affected me so I really don't care."

If you're wondering if this tirade came from a very upsetting conversation then yes, you would be right. 

What I wonder is if this is the attitude of those who are barely 5 years younger than me, then what hope does the next generation have? 

The sadness I feel at this loss of cultural identity cannot be described...if we cannot love the land of our birth, embrace its goodness and impurities, it's failings and positives then where do we find ourselves. How do we establish our identity in a land we do not identify with...

Lots of questions...not enough answers. But then again questions can only be answered on whatever route your journey has for you...

Okay it's time to be silent. This post was a bit of a downer, a lot of a tirade and the majority sadness. But alas tomorrow is a better day. 

Patrick Stewart Gives Passionate Response to Question At Comicpalooza 2013

And this is why men need to be more proactive in trying to end violence against women.

If you're a boy person and you're reading this, watch this video. If Professor X can do it, what's your excuse?
If you're a girl person, share this with your boy persons!

Forgive the generalization, but as perpetrators of the crime (many of you aren't we know and appreciate that) help remove the stigma from your gender. Educate other men.

Curing Feminism

This is Kait Rokowski: How to Cure a Feminist (Spoken-Word).

Play it.
Listen to it.
Internalize it.
Share it.